Sister Mary entered the convent.
The Mother Superior said, ‘Sister, this is a silent convent. You are welcome here as long as you like,
but you may not speak until invited by me to do so.’
Sister Mary lived in the convent for 5 years before the Mother Superior spoke to her again:
‘Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.’
Sister Mary said, ‘Hard bed.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ the Mother Superior said. ‘We will get you a better bed.’
After another 5 years, Sister Mary was summoned by the Mother Superior. ‘You may say another two words, Sister Mary.’
‘Cold food,’ said Sister Mary and the Mother Superior assured her that the food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Mother Superior again called Sister Mary in to her office.
‘You may say two words today.’
‘I quit,’ said Sister Mary.
‘It’s probably best,’ said the Mother Superior. ‘You’ve done nothing but bitch since you got here’
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